I've been reading some twin mom blogs to try and help me through my day present and future....and I found this very relatable.
top ten twin parenting challenges that impact moms who are raising twins:
- Surviving an uncomfortable pregnancy filled with anxiety and fear times two. I was scared to death the WHOLE pregnancy. Thank God for prayers!
- Deciding if you can withstand the social challenge and pressure to breastfeed two babies. (OH YEA NOT A PROBLEM!) It's hard to do it publicly because I am so used to tandem feeding but we manage! It's been three months and I can proudly say that I have conquered breastfeeding!
- Feeling guilty and heartsick about not feeling bonded in an equal way with both babies. This is a DAILY struggle for me! You have to juggle your heart and love it feels like. At the end of the day I have to face it...that I love them both...equally or not.
- Harboring murderous feelings toward your partner who got you into this mess in the first place...especially since he has had NOTHING to do with his beautiful daughters. It's a blessing in disguise now that I realize.
- Secretly ruminating about how you can feel so upset and disappointed after you have spent thousands of dollars on infertility treatments...I conceived naturally so this doesn't apply to me!
- Silently envying how your friends who have just one baby can juggle their lives with such ease and meet a friend for lunch..oh the days that I would love to just be able to get out of this house and walk..but it's a real job to do so alone!
- Acknowledging that having preferences does not mean that you love one twin more than the other..this one is hard on the heart to acknowledge. I have my days...but all in all I don't prefer one over the other.
- Hating to ask others for help because you wish you could feel masterful and competent on your own..this is a HUGE struggle for me being the perfectionist that I am. I want to be able to do it all...all the time when truthfully I just can't.
- Wanting to kill the curious people who ask you the dumbest questions about twins...you seriously just have to laugh them off! Don't ever let a mother to twins tell you that it's just as easy as having one...it's totally not.
- Managing the constant comparison and labeling of your twins by well-intentioned friends and family who are not into “individuality”...luckily my friends and family have been great at individualizing the girls. It's me more than anyone that classifies them together ;)
Very nice Vanessa! I have and still do experience most of these struggles!
ReplyDeleteI often wonder, why me? There are people out there paying thousands of dollars on fertility treatments with no luck. And then there is me ...
I was 20 years old, a newly wed, just starting college with no intention of having kids anytime soon. 8 weeks into my first semester and 6 weeks after I said 'I do' I found out I was pregnant. I just can't help but wonder why I was lucky enough to be blessed with TWO beautiful babies at one time (without even trying) when there are so many people with stable lives who would give anything to have just one baby of their own, but can't. I feel guilty about this quite a lot.
I don't have murderous feelings toward my husband about creating this situation, but I do get very frustrated that he doesn't understand just how hard it is to have two kids the same age. It doesn't get any easier. While there are up sides to them getting older (sleeping through the night, no more diapers, them being able to talk to you instead of cry all the time) there is a major down swing too. Attitudes, talking back, who has more friends at school, who get better grades at school. Its so hard having two in the same grade. They are so different socially, academically, emotionally, you name it. The equality that you struggle to maintain at home for 5 years all goes out the window when they start school.
Thank you so much for sharing the girls via FB! I love to read your posts and see pictures of them! I can't wait to hear your stories as they grow!